Why?
by XxYoungMasterxX
Summary: It starts with a nightmare, but soon progresses until both of them can't handle not knowing? I don't know, its a summary, what more do you want?
1. Nightmare

"I-I love you Arthur.." Alfred stuttered quietly looking of to the side. He had just confessed his love to Arthur and he was now blushing madly. Arthur began to laugh cruely, causing the American to wonder if he had said anything remotley funny. He looked up to see a mean sneer on Arthur's face "You really think that I would return those feelings Alfred?" He asked with another cruel laugh. Alfred could feel his heart shatter, into a million tiny pieces, he knew that this was a bad idea. 'If it was so bad why did you do it?' He asked himself. "I would never love someone like you."

Alfred woke with a loud gasp as he quickly sat up. He sat there gasping for a moment, trying to catch his breath. Then he realized that, it had all been a nightmare,  
a horrid nightmare. He let out a relieved sigh, though his heart continued to ache. Even if it was a dream, it still hurt. He knew that Arthur wouldn't laugh at him like he did in the dream, or would he? At least Alfred thought that the Engish man wouldn't laugh. Even if he didn't laugh, Alfred still knew that his heart would end up being broken. Arthur would never return those kinds of feelings to Alfred.

He sighed and looked out the window gloomily, wondering why he had fallen for the Brit in the first place. 'I didn't mean to' He thought harshly to himself. He turned onto his side and glared angrily at the door. He couldn't help what he felt and he was just mad that it had to be Arthur, of all people. He gave an angry huff and turned back onto his back again. 


	2. Morning

Morning came all too quickly and Alfred hadn't slept a wink since he woke up from his nightmare. He sighed and turned his head to look out at the sunrise. He gave another sigh, his heart ached. He sat up, running a hand through his bed head. Alfred suddenly remembered that he had a meeting today with Arthur. "Dammit" He muttered, placing his head in his hands. 'Why today?' He thought pitifully to himself. He knew that he wouldn't be able to look Arthur in the eye. Alfred glanced over at his alarm clock, he still had a hour or two before he had to head out. He clambered out of bed, walking to the connecting bathroom, tiredly flipping on the light and turning on the water to the shower. He let it heat up before stripping and stepping in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Once out, he began his daily routine, going through it numbly, his dream still haunting him. He began to dread the meeting as his time for departure creeped closer and closer. he threw on his bomber jacket over his clothes and grabbed his suitcase. After he would meet with Arthur, he would stay with him for a few days, that's just what they did. he glanced at the clock again, it was time to head out. He grabbed his suitcase and stepped out the door, into the bright sunlight. He shut it tightly behind him, locking it.

A/N: I'm back, soooo this is basically a filler chapter right now. I'll get to more later, I promise


	3. Arthur's

**A/N: New chapter, sorry it took so long ^^" ****Anyways, I think that I made Alfred a little to  
~XxYoungMasterxX  
**

Alfred's plane had landed /hours/ ago and Arthur still hadn't shown up to pick him up. 'Aparrently not...' He thought bitterly to himself as he stood, looking for a phone so that he could either call Arthur or a taxi of sorts. If one looked closely enough at Arthur, they could see the slight pain and dissapointment showing in his face. He looked around, feeling lost and lonely. "Alfred?" The blue eyed man looked up from the floor, his blue eyes meeting forest green ones. He swallowed quietly as the other spoke. "Hey Alfred... You ready to go?" Arthur spoke, barely giving a greeting. Alfred nodded "I have been." He said biting his tongue immediatly afterwards, he hadn't meant to speak harshly to the other.  
Arthur just nodded, "I figured, I'm hours late. Anyways, lets get going, we have a meeting to start." Alfred nodded, grabbing his luggage and following the Brit to the door quietly, loading his stuff into the back of the car once they got to , they had pulled up into the Brit's drive way, Alfred unbuckled and stepped out of the car, Arthur already steps ahead of him, holding his suitcase. "I've got it Arthur, no need to carry it" He said reaching his hand out for his suitcase. "Nonsense Alfred, you're my guest now. I can handle it." The other lightly slapped Alfred's hand away from the suitcase and began to walk inside of the house.  
"You don't have to pretend to be nice to me Arthur, I know you hate me." Alfred leaned against the door, closing his eyes.  
Arthur paused and set the suitcase down on the floor, next to the door. "Why would I hate you?" Alfred opened his eyes with a small smile "Never mind." He may have been smiling on the outside, but on the inside he felt like crying. Why was Arthur so oblivious? "So, where am I sleeping?" Alfred asked carefully, making sure that his voice wouldn't crack. Arthur had shrugged, telling Alfred that he was sleeping in his old room, Alfred nodded and dropped his stuff into the familiar room, his heart ached. His heart ached from all of the memories, good and bad. He tried to shrug them off, but to no avail. 'Get a hold of yourself Alfred!'  
Nothing seemed to help the blue eyed man, the tears came anyways. It hurt to much, being in this room...No it hurt to be in this house, with /him/ the one who he had pushed away so many times. Now he wished that he had never pushed Arthur away, he wished that he would have stayed, things would have been so much better. If he had stayed, he wouldn't be hurting like he was now, he wouldn't be on the floor, silent tears falling onto the wooden floor.

**A/N: I'm back, sorry its taken so long for me to update, I've had a lot of things going on and I haven't been feeling the best :/**  
**But everything is better now ^^ Anyways, thanks for reading this and reviewing and following and all that. I love you all3 . **


	4. Reflection

After what seemed like hours of crying, the tears stopped falling and the shaking had slowed from bad to manage able. He needed to get a hold of himself, he couldn't let anyone see him like this, and by anyone, he meant anyone. But mostly Arthur, he couldn't let Arthur see him like this, he'd think of him as weak and idiotic, crying over feelings. He let out a shaky breath and ran a hand through his hair, moving to his feet.

He tossed his bag onto the bed, sitting on the edge afterwards. There were times where he'd thought about confessing to Arthur, but he was always stopped, for one reason or another, whether it be from certian circumstances, or to not finding enough time and or courage to. But now he was here, he was staying with Arthur for a whole week! He would surely find time to confess, but there was one problem, courage. Did he have it? Sure it took courage to break away from Arthur, and it took courage to face him for meetings. But this, there was a chance, a huge chance -at least that's what it felt like-, to be turned down and rejected. Being turned down by Arthur, was something that Alfred knew that he couldn't handle...It was something he couldn't fix, something that wouldn't be able to was a quiet knock on the door a quiet, gentle, accented voice coming in through the door.

"Alfred..?"

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry I was gone for a long time, I got really lazy. But I'm back and I'm gonna try and update at least once a day for one of my stories, new or old**


	5. Talk

Hearing his name in that...Wonderful, beautiful voice, Alfred looked up, brushing his hair out of his eyes. "Yeah?" He asked, looking over to the Brit. He looked horrid, his eyes were rimmed with red and his cheeks were tear stained. "Alfred," Arthur said again, stepping into the room. "Are you okay?" He asked, concerned about the American.

Alfred nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine, it's just...It's been a while since I've been here." He gave a sad smile. Though the room wasn't entirely why he'd been sobbing before. No, that only added to it. He remembered when the other, used to read to him in this room, and he'd smile all the time. For a time, green had been Alfred's favorite colour, because it was the colour of Arthur's eyes.

Arthur nodded, moving to sit on the bed next to Alfred, giving a sigh. It hurt him too, it hurt the Brit to be in here. He was sure that Alfred didn't see that though. It hurt for him to be here in general, but with Alfred as well, it brought back so many memories. Both good and bad. He gave a faint smile and sighed. " Alfred..." He began, thinkning that he was going to tell him, this time for sure. He'd backed out too many other times before.

When the blue eyed man looked up, his eyes meeting with emerald ones, both looked sad, though they wore smiles on their faces. "Yeah?" He asked his voice somewhat dull, though it was laced with a little hope. Arthur swallowed thickly about to say it, but his nerves got the best of him, his mind had caught up to him. "I- I was wondering what you'd like for dinner." Alfred's hopes, which he had idiotically put up high, had been crushed. " I don't know, what ever you feel like making." He shrugged as the Brit nodded and stood, "I'll call you down when it's ready then." He gave a final look back as he paused in the doorway. He let out a quiet sigh and shook his head, heading downstairs to cook.

**A/N: Okay, my second one for the night~! I hope this is acceptable :I **


	6. Sorry

As the Brit left the room, Alfred let out a sigh and threw himself back onto the bed, pulling off his glasses to rub at his eyes. "Why?" He asked, his hand moving from his eyes to pinch the bridge of his nose. " Why Arthur of all people?" He asked. Honestly, anybody else wouldn't have caused Alfred this much pain unkowingly. Arthur hadn't even done anything to hurt Alfred, no he didn't do anything at all. It was their past that hurt him, that hurt the both of them. Though of course the two didn't know that it hurt the other. Alfred's eyes opened, staring up at the plain white ceiling. He laughed quietly '_I'm like a puppy whose been abandoned and left lonely for too long.'_ He thought sliding his glasses on again. A lovesick puppy was a more accurate way to describe Alfred.

Alfred didn't know when he'd started loving Arthur, he'd just woke up one day and felt that insatiable longing feeling, that only seeing Arthur would fill. Yet, seeing the other hurt to do. No matter how much he wanted to change it, there would always be pain when he saw the other, those horrible memories would always be there. And Alfred wasn't sure if the British man had forgiven him yet, he was sure that the other would never forgive him. Every meeting that they had, reopened those memories, that they had _just _gotten over, that they had just begun to heal. Only to be cut open again.

Alfred sighed and sat up, his feet touching the ground again. He couldn't sit in that room anymore. If he did, he'd just end up wallowing in self pity, asking himself why he'd pushed Arthur away in the first place. Arthur was nothing but good to the American. Alfred shook his head as those thoughts began to enter his head. No, he couldn't begin a pity fest. Not again.

Alfred hopped down lightly from the bed, running a hand through his hair as he began to walk towards the door, intent on heading downstairs to see if the other needed help with anything. The funny thing was, is that the American couldn't smell any food being cooked, or burned for that matter. "Arthur?" He called, walking out of the room and heading down the stairs, looking around curiously.

Alfred first looked into the kitchen, not finding the other in there, his brows furrowed together as he wondered where the blonde was. He shook his head again, shaking the feeling that something was a little off. He wandered through the familiar house, finding Arthur in the study, asleep. Alfred couldn't help but smile, seeing how...Peaceful and relaxed Arthur looked when asleep. He shook his head slightly again and moved to grab a blanket, returning to cover Arthur with it.

Arthur curled up into the blanket, still asleep. He smiled slightly, dreaming of the past, the happier memoriesm, not the seemingly tragic past. Sometimes, Arthur wished that Alfred were a kid again, or that they lived in easier times. Times where they hadn't hurt eachother to the point of breaking. Times where that if there had been any kind of injuries, that they could be healed with a light kiss to the injury or a 'I'm sorry.'

Alfred wished the same thing, though neither of the two would admit it to the other. Times were so much simpler then.

"I'm sorry."

**A/N: I updated! Yay~! Not really. Anyways, well here's another chapter, I hope that ya'll like it, if not okay. Actually the point of this A/N was to see if any of you would like a crack fic? And if so, what pairing/ characters? I already have an idea that that it would take place during a high school Art class that would be completely insane and crazy ( Like mine w ) So yeah Bai~**


	7. Three Words

Arthur was pulled out of his dreams, reminicents of the past at the sound of Alfred's voice. He didn't mind though, he loved Alfred's voice. Though this tone of voice wanted Arthur to frown and tell Alfred to knock it off. Alfred wasn't supposed to be sad, or use that tone of voice in general. It wasn't him. It just wasn't. Plus the fact that Arthur wanted to cry everytime he heard Alfred's voice like that. Broken, broken beyond repair.

Though, maybe repair to Alfred's heart was right around thr corner. No, not maybe, it was. Repair was right around the corner. Arthur forced himself to make it look like he was just waking up, though in truth he'd been up for the few minutes that Alfred had stood there, thinking. Alfred hadn't noticed that Arthur had 'woken' he was busy staring off into space, thinking. Thinking about he and Arthur, them. Them, that's what he wanted to be referred to as with Arthur. Them. 'go ask them, they've got their relationship all under control.'

Them.

"Alfred?" Arthur murmurred looking up at the taller male, curiousity and a little bit of worry in his eyes. Alfred looked down at the sound of his name, smiling at Arthur. "Morning sleeping beauty." He teased sitting on the edge of the Brit's desk. Arthur pretened to scowl, which was actually pretty close to his real scowl that he used when he wasn't pleased.

"Don't call me that, and get off the bloody desk, Alfred, what are you? A school boy?" He snapped, though he wasn't angry, not in the slightest. But he had to keep appearences up. He had to play the role that was given to him in this life. He'd never get another role though, being the personification of a Country. He'd live forever, no other role will be handed to him, this is what he is. Forever.

Why should it matter if he was with Alfred or not? He'd already gone god knows how many years without Alfred, so he can go on without him. Right? Is this what the humans, the population of the countries that Alfred and Arthur represented, called love? Is this love?

Yes, Arthur was sure of it. Otherwise, why else would he feel so...Emotionally thrown about when he was with Alfred? Why would he feel like his heart would explode when Alfred accomplished something great? Or when he came to visit? Or even when Alfred smiled?

Yes, this was love. Countries don't fall in love, because one would only end up getting hurt some how. But Arthur was willing to get hurt for Alfred, even more than he already had. He loved him. He smiled. Yes, this was love. It was something that frankly, Arthur always wanted, but could never acheive. Until now.

Until now. Them.

Three words between the two of them, between Alfred and Arthur. Until now, Then. I love you. Three words.


	8. Revolutionary

Alfred gave a crooked smile to the Brit as he looked down at him with a laugh. It was funny, how much a smile and a laugh could hide. Whenever Alfred did have something to hide, wheter he was hurting emotionally, physically, mentallty; none of the other countries suspected that he was. Maybe they did, but didn't care enough to ask if he were alright. Or maybe they thought that because he didn't say anything about it, that he didn't want or need help. Afterall, he could take care of himself, he did gain independence from Arthur almost virtually by himself, with the help from Francis.

But that didn't mean he didn't need help. He still was fairly young and naive, though not as much as he was before, but still. He may have been and 'adult' now but he still wasn't. He still needed help and advice and someone to tell him he did a good job. But nobody stepped up for that position, especially not after the Revolutionary War. Plus the fact that Alfred wouldn't accept Arthur for that position, but he wouldn't accept anyone else because they weren't Arthur. It was messed up and Alfred would admit that.

"I ain't a schoolboy Arthur." Alfred said, a bit of his southern accent awakening again. Arthur scoweled again. "You're acting like one, Al. And 'ain't' isn't a word." He commented with an eye roll. Alfred only laughed again and shook his head.

Alfred's laugh and smile didn't hide what was behind it, it didn't hide the hurt that Alfred was feeling. Arthur could clearly see it with those emerald eyes of his. He could see it and it hurt him as well. He couldn't help but feel as if it were his fault that Alfred was hurting. It wasn't though, Alfred was the one who became independent from him. He didn't want to be Arthur's colony anymore. He went and sought the help of Francis, to push Arthur away, to finally gain independence. It still hurt, though its been years and years since that happened. It didn't help that the fourth of July was right around the corner either.

"Sure it is. " Alfred disaggreed, runnning a hand through his hair, refusing to get off of the desk. "Alfred F. Jones." Arthur began, feeling a headache coming on, already. "You get off of my desk." He commanded. See, maybe them being together wouldn't work out. They weren't compatible, they were too different. Sure, the saying 'opposites attract' is true, but if too opposite, nothing would work out. You have to find _some_ common ground.

Alfred finally frowned at the usage of his name, the one he gave himself in a declaration of independence, having given up the one he was christened with, back in Revolutionary times."I don't have to. You're not ruling me anymore." He snapped, for some unknown reason. He could've just easily agreed and gotten of the desk, but no, he had to go and disaggree and refuse to.

Just great.


	9. Candy-ass

Why? Chapter 9  
Arthur stiffened and he scowled at the American, sitting up straighter than before, his eyes growing cold again. "You're in my house, you do as I say." He said in a low, gravel like voice, narrowing his eyes. Alfred sat up straighter himself, a frown on his own face. " I would say it's a free country, I can do what I want, but in reality this isn't." He snapped, slipping off the desk with a huff, crossing his arms over his chest, glaring at the other.

"Tch, of course it isn't, it's a monarchy, not a democracy." Green eyes rolled up towards the ceiling and back down to land on Alfred. "Of course it isn't, you idjit." Arthur huffed, crossing his own arms over his chest. "It's not going to change just because you're here, you know. You're not special. I run my country the way I want to, I'm not going to change for you." He hissed and Alfred's frown deepened. Just great, he'd screwed this up royally. Alfred didn't respond to that, he continued to stand rigidly, his lower lip sticking out a touch.

It was quiet for a few moments that felt like forever before someone spoke, it was quiet, but the words were doused with venom towards the other. "Fine." With that, Alfred turned on his heel and he hastily made his way out of the room, cursing under his breath at both himself and Arthur.

"Candy-ass." Arthur muttered as the door to the room slammed shut. Again, tensions had risen, who the hell had arranged the meeting around this time of year? They all knew what it was and what it did the two, but they still did so. Arthur shook his head, his hair falling in his face "I need a drink." He muttered, walking quietly to the liquor case he had in the room.

**A/N: And there we go, sorry for the long wait, I'm actually in the process of planning out the story and where I want to go with it. Thank you for patiently waiting, I love you for that! Reviews are always loved and welcomed, whether good or bad, let me know! :D Also, if you have any ideas for this or anything, or a story in general, let me know, I'd love to hear them! Well, thank you for reading this, and I'll hopefully see ya'll soon! -XxYMxX**


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